Unqualified

I’ve spent my entire morning in a mental blogging blank.  It’s been over a month since I’ve blogged.  Yes, I have reasons, and I’ll share them at a later date.  But now it’s time to start writing again.

  Staring at a sheer, white, empty document can be overwhelming sometimes.  There is so much I could share with you, and if we were chatting over ice cream, you’d hear it all.  But when I sit down to write words that will be accessible for the world to see, my fingers can stiffen and my heart can pound.

  Why should I even share?  What should I write?  There are plenty of Christian bloggers out there, with wisdom surpassing mine and words that can communicate clearly.  What new, unique insights can I offer the world?  We live in an age of information.  Nothing is new under the sun.

  I’m just a teenager; home-schooled, surrounded by godly influences, with experiences that consist of surviving childhood cancer, playing half a dozen instruments, and working at a camp for 3 weeks.  I haven’t done a ton in my relatively short life.  I’m still finishing school.  I don’t have much to share.  The fact that I even have people reading my blog shocks me.

  Maybe I’m just buying myself time sharing the random, raw thoughts in the very forefront of my mind, because I simply am at a loss of what to share.  I’m not a fountain of wisdom.  Any wisdom in me comes straight from God.

  I guess the best word to describe how I’m feeling is unqualified.

  I just got back from a camp where I was a totally unqualified junior counselor.  I’d never counseled before, never even been to the camp, was clueless, knew no one, and was about to become a “Ma” to 10 little girls that I didn’t know.  Talk about unqualified!  An hour before the campers arrived, I was lying on a bunk in the back of the cabin, unable to move and absolutely petrified.   Yet God gave grace and here I am.  Next summer can’t come soon enough!

  While I was at camp, I built friendships (cultivated by cheery “good mornings!” at 6 A.M. in the bathroom, all-out competition, and half-hour counselor breaks) with other counselors who would be the first to tell you that they feel unqualified as well.  Brokenness, humility, and honesty were in play.  Want to feel helpless?  Go counsel at a camp.  You haven’t got all the answers.

  What is it like to be “qualified” anyway?  If you think about it, who really is “qualified”?  Is it even a possible status to attain?

  I’m not qualified.  You aren’t, either.  I don’t think anyone really is.  But we are blessed by the King of the universe who possesses every ounce of wisdom there is to be had.  We must simply ask, and He will infuse His strength and wisdom into us.

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” – James 1:5, KJV.

  One of my favorite quotes is, “God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called.”  I don’t know who this quote is attributed to, but man is it true!  If God has given you a gift, a passion, or a ministry, He will provide the qualification you need.  HE is what you need!

  So I will continue blogging.  I will continue writing.  I can’t give you any wisdom; it comes only from God.  But perhaps, by some shadow of a doubt, He can use my words to bless someone.

  I’m not qualified.  I’m a normal girl; a sinner saved by Christ; a human with struggles and downfalls.  Only in Christ do I have worth.  Without Him, I am nothing.