10 Ways You Can Reach Out to a Younger Girl

Hey y’all!  I don’t know about you, but when I was younger, teenage girls were the pedestal of awesomeness.  I looked up to the older girls around me and tried to copy them often (much to the dismay of my parents, I’m sure).  Of all the age groups of people older and wiser, the ones that perhaps made the greatest impact on my life were the teenagers.

Last week I turned another year older.  It’s truly shocking to realize that I’m the same age as all the girls I idolized once upon a time.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately of the special influence this season of life has entrusted to me.  Many of you are in the same situation.  You, too, have the opportunity to impact the younger girls in your life.  Will we take this opportunity and use it, or will we take it and waste it?

Today I’d like to share 10 simple ways you and I can and reach out to the younger girls in our lives.

1 – Remember her birthday.

This may the simplest thing on the list, but it’s really a gem.  Put her birthday on your calendar and remember it with a gift, a card, or even just a cheery “happy birthday!” and a hug.

2 – Do something with her.

This is a great way to encourage a younger girl and totally make her day.  You can do anything from inviting her over to bake cookies to taking her for ice cream to thrift shopping!

3 – Keep in touch.

If this girl has email, get an email conversation going!  I loved when older friends would do that with me.  If she doesn’t have email, you could even just write her old fashioned, snail-mail letters.  Throw in some stickers!

4 – Surprise her with a just-because gift.

My love language is gifts, so this one is very important in my opinion!  Do you crochet or knit?  Make her a cute hat or scarf.  Do you have a special dress or skirt you could hand-me-down to her?  Do you know of a book she might enjoy (just get it mother-approved)?  Does she love flowers or headbands?  Once a young married woman at my church gave me a beautiful treble-clef necklace, just because.  I still have it and wear it often!

5 – Teach her something.

Is there a skill you have that she has openly admired?  Offer to teach her! One skill I love to share is hand-lettering.  I’ve given 2-minute crash courses in lettering to several young ladies, and they have now far surpassed me in lettering. :)  I love seeing people take a skill that is dear to me and watching them run with it!  Do you have a special gift or creative talent?  Share that talent!

6 – Pray for her.

Add her to your prayer list and commit to praying daily for her.  Ask her if she has any requests, and then make it a priority to follow up.

7 – Give a good example.

This is not a direct way of reaching out to a younger girl, but it will mean more to her and her family in the long run than probably anything else will.  Be an example in the way you dress, act, talk, serve, respect your parents and elders, and interact with young men.  If you long for a generation of true ladies, start the trend and be one yourself.  You’ll never know if in 5 years, those once-little-girls will be following in the same footsteps.

8 – Chat.

There’s nothing like a good big-sister chat!  God chose me to be the oldest girl in my family, so I often looked up to older friends for sisterly advice.  Make yourself available to chat with the little girls around you.  Especially when young ladies go through the awkward years of 12 and 13, they need a listening ear and a source of solid, practical, and sympathetic comradeship.  Be the “older girl” you wanted as a younger girl.

9 – Be committed.

Girl, please commit to loving the little people to your utmost ability until God clearly separates your paths.  Don’t treat the girl like your best friend one day and ignore her the next.  Be genuinely interested and put effort into building the relationship. 

Now, it is impossible to be completely committed at all times.  If you’re a college student, travel a lot, are getting married or moving away, etc., it may be especially difficult.  Take advantages of the opportunities you get.  If you can, involve her in your busy life.  Take her to a college class or activity, ask her to help in some small way at your wedding, come over to help you pack up before you move, or something like that.

10 – Become her friend first.

You may view it as a mentorship or a ministry, but become a friend above all else.  Treat her like your own age.  Don’t condescend or correct, unless instruction is clearly called for.  You aren’t the mother, the teacher, or the babysitter.  You are the friend.  Treat the girl like you would a peer.

I’ve had a girl or two try to “take me under their wing.”  The problem is, there’s only a couple years’ difference between us.  In one instance, the girl tried to gush motherly advice right off the bat (and accidently came across as condescending and know-it-all, even in her choice of words) while she was just 2 years older!  No, thank you!

If you’re 14 and the girl is 11, it may seem like a huge gap.  It’s not, really. Age isn’t the big divider we imagine it to be.  Never made condescending comments about her age.

A couple random other tips about younger-girl friendships…

- If she is old enough to have her own car and drive, don’t force her into your passenger seat.  Drive separately or make a mutual agreement on carpooling.  Give her the opportunity to proudly take the responsibility of driving.

- Give her your attention and engage your brain.  She is a human being with real ideas and life situations.

- Don’t constantly compare.  Refrain from constantly saying, “Oh yeah, I remember when I was there…” and rambling off on your experience.  If you try and top her story, she’ll feel stupid.  Don’t slam her experience down with your own, unless she asks for details or you have some piece advice that you know would be revolutionarily helpful in her situation.

- When you’re together, don’t take that opportunity to start up conversations with everyone else around you.  You don’t have to be rude, but try to keep it to a smile and wave if you spot another friend.

I’d love to hear from you below!  Which of these suggestions meant the most to you when you were younger?  What would you add to this list?  What are your thoughts on the importance of investing in the younger girls around us?

Stay tuned for a post on ways to encourage older siblings/friends!

Suggested posts:

The Power of Influence

6 Ways to Invest in Younger Sisters

The Power of Saying “Yes” in our Sibling Relationships