A New Year's Eve Story...

It was New Year’s Eve, 2015.  The lamp in her room could be seen glowing through the windows and spilling through the darkness.  As the last minutes of 2015 slowly ticked away, the coming New Year was not the only thing on her mind…

She sat on her bed, at the brink of tears, reading her Bible, writing notes in her journal every few moments, and praying what she read with all of her heart.  As she poured out her heart to the Lord, her journal sat in her lap, opened to a page with the words, “If it be your will, I will go.” 

2015 was an awesome year for her.  She learned a lot of new stuff, started a blog, ate tons of sour cream, and had no stink-bugs invading her room.  What else could a girl possibly want?

But something deep in her heart sought more.  She was not interested in earthly possessions.  No; what she wanted could not be bought at the store.  What she wanted could only be God-ordained: to love others…. in Africa.

I’m guessing that at this point, you probably realize that this isn’t just some made-up story I wrote to entertain you with.  No, it’s real story.  And if you know me much at all, you probably figured out that I was the girl in the story.  I mean, come on, I mentioned sour cream :) 

But, the thing is, this actually isn’t my story.  This story is God’s story.  After all, He is the Author of all creation, and He created me!  The story I just told you was the story He wrote for my life on the night of New Year’s Eve, 2015.  It started like this…

At the beginning of last December, I noticed a new book sitting on one of our living room side-tables.  Its title was Kisses from Katie and on the front cover it showed a young woman surrounded by many young African children.  It looked really interesting, so I asked my mom if I could read it.

Sometime shortly after I finished Kisses from Katie, my mom asked me if I was already done, and I half-playfully, half-truthfully replied, “I want to go to Africa now!”  I already had started feeling that maybe God was calling me there, but it surprised me how easily the words came out of my mouth.  I thought about it some more.  Maybe God was calling me to Africa?  No, it couldn’t be… “I’m already passionate about music,” I thought to myself.  “God has made it clear that I have a gift in music, and for teaching piano and arranging hymns.  He wouldn’t ask me to give up my dreams after making it so clear that was where He was leading me.” 

I tried to forget about my words those next few days, but I couldn’t: I was heartbroken.  I had just finished reading a book in which I had learned about unimaginable poverty, radical love, and a land desperate for help.  I couldn’t forget about it, so I fought against it instead.

On New Year’s Eve I finally decided that I couldn’t go on fighting it anymore.  I needed to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with God, and work the thing out.

When I took my little sister to bed that evening, it was still a few hours before midnight, so I figured I’d sit up and have my chat with God then.  Once I was done sharing my part of the story, I sat in the stillness and read my Bible, which is God’s part of the story. 

It didn’t take me long to realize that what needed to happen on my part was surrender.  There wasn’t a clear yes or no answer, so I needed to give it to God and let Him show me the stoplight colors in His timing.  So, I finally let go of the struggle and surrendered my future to the Lord.  “If you want me to go to Africa, I will go, Lord,” I prayed.

Today, it’s been a year since that night.  In the past year, I’ve realized several things: first, I’m not in the position to get up and go to Africa right now.  If God does want me to go there, right now definitely is not His timing. 

Second, even though I don’t’ know what the future holds in this area, I still need to be faithful to work towards the calling God has already shown me. 

And third, God may actually not be calling me to go to Africa!  Maybe God was giving me a test to see whether or not I would surrender it to Him.  I will be honest with you: the only thing I have found to do with this burden right now is to pray for it.  That’s really the only thing I can do at this time!  So I have prayed for Africa, for ministries in Africa, and for missionaries in Africa.  And you know what?  I’m satisfied with that.  Prayer alone has satisfied that burden in my heart this year.

Today it has been a full year since I surrendered my future to the Lord.  You’ll probably only find me celebrating by having another heart-to-heart with God tonight and worshiping Him, but New Year’s Eve 2015 is still a day that I want to remember.  And I want to use that as a way to challenge you as we go into a New Year.

Is there anything you are holding back from surrendering to God?  Is there a burden you are carrying that you need to leave at the cross?  Or maybe you just need to have a heart-to-heart with God because you haven’t in a while?  I encourage you: do it today.  Spend time with God and surrender to Him today.  Just get it out of the way before the clock strikes 12 tonight.  What better way to begin a New Year than to spend time with God?!  And when the 6 of 2016 turns to 7, stop what you’re doing and praise the Lord!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!